Ok guys, after months and months of being in a “slump” and feeling like I will never successfully get back on my weight loss journey, I finally feel like I’m about to make a comeback! It’s all thanks to my Beachbody coach Melanie Watson who reached out to me and introduced me to author/ motivational speaker/ media personality Mel Robbins. But before I get into that, let me tell the story from the beginning.
Back in early January, like so many others I made the resolution to get back on track with my weight loss journey. After years of doing Weight Watchers, I decided to shake things up and signed up with Beachbody. I started using the containers of the 21 Day Fix program and purchased Beachbody On Demand so I could workout whenever I wanted in my basement. I easily found the Beachbody community online – literally hundreds, maybe even thousands, of other people trying to do the exact same thing I was trying to do. It was online that I found and “met” my coach Melanie Watson. Melanie seemed to “get” my struggles right away and had experienced many of them herself! At the time, I was struggling with the winter blues, mild depression, and a major lack of motivation to do anything. Despite being a complete stranger, Melanie seemed to know me so well and understood all my goals – plus she had the tools to get me there. I signed up to her Facebook groups and followed her on Instragram eager to be successful. But after about the first month, things started sliding and I lost my motivation. The winter blues were overwhelming and nights on the coach won over working out in my basement. Carb-heavy, comfort food beat out nutritious and heart-healthy meals. I started to tell myself that all the hard work and sacrifices it took to lose weight weren’t worth it. Life was too short not to eat sweets. I should just learn to love myself the way I am. Maybe for the first time in my adult life I could not be on a diet program and actually just learn to accept myself. But something deep inside me, an inner voice (or as Mel Robbins’ would call my inner wisdom) was still there. No matter how much I tried to convince myself that I could feel satisfied, fulfilled and confident without losing weight, my inner wisdom was telling me differently. But still, nothing changed. I still consumed calorie-rich foods all day long and snuggled into the couch as soon as humanly possible after work. Every day I thought about working out but talked myself out of it within seconds. I knew what I had to do to lose weight (and had all the programs and supports imaginable) but I still wasn’t doing it.
But the inner voice continued to talk. I considered emailing Melanie. By this point, I had completely turned my back on the Beachbody program. I had unfollowed some of the groups online and began to feel resentful towards the cheery messages of success others were sharing in the groups. I even contemplated unfollowing Melanie’s profile. I was feeling so overwhelmed by all the messages about what I knew I had to do, but still, did not feel like doing. Then, last week, Melanie reached out to me. I was shocked but so pleasantly surprised. Although she had been so good to me previously, I had assumed I was just another “customer” helping to grow her business. But by reaching out to me after weeks of not hearing from me or seeing my posts in group, Melanie proved that she actually wants me to be successful I immediately responded, openly expressing to her the struggle I had been experiencing. I wrote about not being in the right “mindset” to get started and how I’d been struggling for months to get there. This is when Melanie gifted me with the invitation to check out Mel Robbins’ work. As I mentioned earlier, Robbins is a media personality, motivational speaker, and author. She wrote The Five Second Rule which I am currently devouring and taking copious notes from. The minute I read Melanie’s email, I started obsessively watching Robbins’ videos on YouTube and spent my two-hour drive yesterday listening to her podcasts. It is like Mel Robbin’s was living inside my head. So much of what she has to say is exactly what I have been struggling with for months! And the fact that Melanie knew to suggest her work to me blows my mind even more. How can a complete stranger know just what I needed?!
So what is this Five-Second Rule and why am I so excited about it? As I mentioned, I just started reading the book to fully understand the concept but I am so excited by it that I felt I had to write a blog post right now. Here are some of the main principles I’ve taken from Robbins’ work so far including how they relate to my life.
1. You will never feel like doing it, you have to do it anyway. Robbins speaks about the notion that we all know what we should do. And we know how to do it. For example, the Weight Watchers program (which I have been a member of for years), or the Beachbody program tell you exactly how to lose weight. But yet I don’t do it. Why not? Because I don’t feel like it. Robbins’ says that we’ll never feel like it but that we have to just start doing it anyway. That’s why she says motivation is garbage. Because we will never truly feel like doing things in the moment that we should.
2. The Five Second Rule In a nutshell, the five second rule is a theory that you can train your brain to listen to your inner wisdom and do what you know you have to do, rather than hold yourself back from doing it. It’s kind of like the Nike slogan Just Do It (which Robbins also refers to in the book). Robbin’s tells of her personal struggles and how she discovered that by simply counting down 5-4-3-2-1 you can distract your brain and refocus on doing what you need to do.
3. Get out of your own head. Robbins says that our inner wisdom is constantly telling us what we should do to lead a healthier, happier, fulfilled, and satisfying life but that we have the habit of talking ourselves out of following through on these ideas. As soon as we start thinking about the idea too much, we easily and effortlessly talk ourselves out of it. The magic of the Five Second Rule is that we can change that!
4. Your have to parent yourself. I love where Robbins talks about how no one tells us when we become an adult that now we are going to have to parent ourselves. When we are kids, our parents are there to tell us no. They are there to make sure we do the things we are supposed to do. As adults, there is no one to do that, so we have to do it ourselves. We have to learn to tell ourselves no and to do the work even when we don’t want to.
All this being said, I want to recognize that I probably just did a terrible job of summarizing some of Robbins’ main ideas. Also, please take into consideration my other disclaimer – I just started reading the book. I know I have just scraped the surface of some of this woman’s amazing ideas! I can’t wait to learn more.
But more importantly, I feel like I have been given a tool that is finally going to get me out of this slump that I’ve been in. I’ve spent all winter making excuses for myself, talking myself out of doing the work, holding myself back, trying to convince myself that I could be happy without losing weight. Now I see that I need to get out of my own head. I always overthink everything and I’ve been overthinking my weight loss journey for years. What I am starting to see now is that I will never truly be ready so why am I still waiting? Just last week, I wrote to Melanie that I needed to be in the right “mindset” before I could get started! What I see now is that by just doing it, by just getting started, the actions I need to take will put me in the right mindset! Most importantly, what I see now is that making change is hard work and our brain is pre-wired to protect ourselves from hard work. Our brain doesn’t want us to be uncomfortable. Therefore, it will try to talk me out of everything that I need to do in order to lose weight successfully. Also, I am never going to feel like doing the things I know I should do (eat healthfully, plan meals, go for a run, workout) but I just have to put on my big girl panties and do it anyway. After all without hard work, there is no reward. So instead of thinking about things, I have to just start doing. And the best way to do that (according to both Robbins’ and coach Melanie), is to do it one day at a time. Every time my instinct kicks in to do something healthy, I have to get my ass in gear and do it before my mind takes over and talks me out of it! I have to parent myself, tell myself no, and just do what needs to be done. The best part of all this is if I do the actions that I need to do, the positive, happy, self-loving mindset that I thought I needed to get started, will develop all on it’s own! Wow!
One last thing about all this. I couldn’t help but think of a Weight Watchers leader I had years ago. At the time, I knew I loved her approach, I just didn’t understand why. Every week at our regular meeting, she would tell us what we had to do. “Eat your fruit and vegetables.” “Drink your water”. “Move every day”. Now I realize that her no-nonsense approach is what helped me to be so successful. She didn’t give us a choice. She didn’t give us time to think about things, she simply told us to Just Do It.